#SeriouslySocial The Podcast
with Simone Douglas and special guest Tatjana Turcinov
Our guest this episode is NLP coach Tatjana Turcinov. She and Simone chat about storytelling in tribal life and modern life and the vital importance of human connection in a complex world.
Special guest: Tatjana Turcinov
You can connect with her here: linkedin.com/in/tatjana–
Check out our page for updates and teasers about upcoming episodes, links, and details about Simone’s best-selling books.
Hosted by Simone Douglas
Videography by Marie Carbone
Audio by Chris Irving
Music used in this episode is “Alte Herren” by KieLoKaz, used with permission under a Creative Commons Licence
This production is protected by a creative commons CC-BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence.
Chris Irving 0:00
Welcome to the seriously social podcast with your host Simone Douglas. Our guest this episode is NLP coach Tatjana Turcinov. She and Simone chat about storytelling in tribal life and modern life and the vital importance of human connection in a complex world.
Simone Douglas 0:17
Welcome to this week’s episode of seriously social and today I am joined by Tatjana Turcinov Yes, thanks very much for coming along today.
Thank you for having me.
Simone Douglas 0:27
My pleasure. Perhaps you can just give us the cliff notes version of how you find yourself here today.
Well, it is very interesting story because I never thought I will live in Adelaide and my husband who is from Adelaide basically he travelled long time ago to Europe to make a documentary movie and have a holidays and he stayed there for 15 years. So now it’s my turn. I’ve only been here 10 So yeah, and you probably remember we met at the rotary netherlight and I’m internationally certified coach and trainer of NLP which is Neuro Linguistic Programming. That’s basically who I am and I apparently I have an accent when I speak English.
Simone Douglas 1:12
I just think you sound lovely. So, NLP is a fascinating field and obviously you know, huge globally but for perhaps some of the business owners out there that and listeners that may not have encountered NLP before in any kind of formalized structure. What is it?
Basically I usually say it is interdisciplinary psychotherapeutic method which helps people setting the goals, coaching people training people mentoring, and it basically use the best tools from all different psychotherapeutic fields. It started a long time ago in the 70s basically from Richard grinder and john bandler john grinder and Richard bandler sorry. And basically they did a lot of tools they start modeling people they introduce also hypnosis which was already there. And it is very popular tool and then they spent they divided into two streams so let’s say in Adelaide is more popular American way so that is that is bandler Go Go doo doo doo. Yes, yes, you know, motivation people know about Anthony Robbins. So that’s, that’s why I am from greenders stream and my professor of NLP is one of assistance from Richard from john greender. And basically, also, my professor was from Stuttgart, mother Kaiser, who is a psychiatrist. I was lucky to study it is more like, exactly as I said, psychotherapeutic you sit in a circle, you reflect to learn a lot. And it’s a very long process to get certified, basically, to get to the trainer level versus practitioner and master practitioner, than its coach and trainer. So I can train the trainer.
Simone Douglas 3:13
Oh, wow. So here in Adelaide, do you offer training or more coaching?
When I started here, I thought that you know, I will be doing some trainings. And then basically because I got to drop straight when I arrived to other live, and I’m always having some business, I do a lot of pro bono coaching, and training. And I was at one point of time with ICF, international coaching, Federation and treasure with a member of leadership team. But basically, I always get people we call this moonda, clamor, word of mouth, you know, people if they need some help, or they want to just have a chat about something, they come to me. And I do a lot of pro bono with rotary, so other like, other like University, Rotary Club, a lot of international students, and you’re helping them basically to teach them how to go through life, how to set the goals. And that’s like, what I see myself as a storyteller, because I’ve always got a story to tell.
Simone Douglas 4:14
Yeah, that’s been a bit of a common theme lately for some of my podcasting guests. Is that just that power of storytelling and how to embrace that aspect of self? Do you think in today’s modern age where we have so many digital mediums and a high degree of disconnectedness? So there are so many people who don’t have that anchors, you know, whether it’s church or community or things like that, that we’re losing our way to story is to navigate
Yes, it was it was much more embraced in the old times because we had grandmothers so we had all this or we had tribes which we will sit around the fire and we would talk Why then we have fairy tales, you know, and that’s, that basically damage us a little bit because we think everyone will live happily ever after. But life happens and life can be very unpredictable. And I did work for six and a half years in stability, employment services and community mental health, and I still volunteer in one of the programs. So to have a balance, right balance in, I usually say in a heart and mind, it is a skill and we need to find people who can give us that and train us. There are a lot of issues specially nowadays, as you mentioned, social media, people get disconnected. Because nothing can change the human touch, and human of human communication received next next to each other. When we feel our vibrations. When we look in someone’s eyes, that is what matters. And we are social creatures, really. We need people around ourselves.
Simone Douglas 6:05
Yeah, and I think, you know, during the pandemic, obviously, we had an absence of people around ourselves, very lucky here in Adelaide these days, but, and in Australia, for that matter. But in business, I suppose one of the things that I’m really finding is that the businesses that have successfully come out of lockdowns and things very quickly turned around, you know, their trading conditions and things, they’re the ones that got back to that face to face, real life connection very quickly.
Yes, and if you have a support from a family, or friends, or partner or someone, if you have that other human being close to you, then it’s easier, you know, to also to discuss the ideas, yes, we can do a lot of things over zoom or Skype and WhatsApp and so, but it is always important to stay in touch with nature, and with the human beings to get that right balance. Because you talk to a lot of people about mindfulness, yoga, and all these therapists, people need to take time sometimes just to breathe, breathe in, and breathe out. And to get into the right vibration and into the right state of mind.
Simone Douglas 7:21
Yeah, that’s very true. I have my words for that is like a very carefully constructed happy bubble that I live within. And it’s doesn’t mean that there aren’t unpleasant things that happen around me or externally to me. But I have control over this aspect of self, which is you know, how I start my morning and having a good cup of coffee and listening to the right music and you know, having those kind of routines. Why don’t they teach things like that, in schools?
Well, I’m questioning there are certain schools which have that kind of navigation, they started teaching children mindfulness, and they started teaching people also nonviolent communication. I’m very big in nonviolent communication, the way how we how we command, our language is very important. And to use the right words, and with the right energy as well. Although, you know, who am I to say, because with my accent, I come sometimes very strong across Yeah, but that’s why we need to be mindful about everything and it is it is going on, children are very mindful nowadays. And you see the whole movement, internationally movement, protection of Women Against Domestic Violence, you know, against any kind of bullying or harassment at the workplace, people are getting finally more aware. Yeah. So yeah, it is sad because the history of humankind is basically a history of wars, and misery. And I hope that you know, all these with even with this pandemic, we can see the light side Yeah, that we progress, that we all stuck together, that we are helping other countries that we learned, what, how to be cautious how to cost and all that stuff. So you can always see the light and the sunny side of the road in every situation. Yeah.
Simone Douglas 9:33
I think that that is a learned behavior, though. So many, I think some people are really lucky and born with it and perhaps or where it doesn’t get broken out of them as they’re growing up. But I think it’s important for people to understand that just because they’re in a difficult place right now. Doesn’t mean that they have to stay there that they have a choice. might not feel like they do.
Yeah. When when the pandemic started with the Rotary Club of other light and rotaractors, we organized straightaway, one, like a session. So we would go through the virtual room. And we were talking, and I was trying to help the students how to deal with the stress and with the unknown. And when we went through the circle, everyone thought, Oh, my God, I’m feeling the same, like the others. So we all have the same struggles, and we all have the same worries. So what we can do to change that, so they started the cooking classes, they started going out, you know, then cleaning around the city and so on. And they, they built the society within self. Yeah. And it is also very difficult. People have different strengths and different resilience. Some people can becomes afraid or, or stress or upset because someone bangs the door, because we don’t know what that means in their subconscious. I’m also very big in in talking about unconscious life, scream. Lung, unconscious life script is something that develops in children between a three to six, sometimes they and this is from your childhood, how you were your upbringing? Yes. It doesn’t necessarily mean that if you had a nice and protected family, that you will know how to deal with the troubles. No, because we don’t know you know, what stories we tell to ourselves. What is our inner voice inside? Now, when I was little I fell off the bridge. So for me, yeah, okay, I fell off the bridge, and I survived. And that’s a wonderful story. And I’m fine. When I was 29, I was sitting next to the ditch on the road. And someone was pointing to the lock down into my back for half an hour when I was waiting and thinking, oh my god, this is the last thing that I was see. No, no, I survived. Yeah, you know, and it was just because I was born in the wrong side of the fence and wrong surname or I didn’t. He did not look, the way I look or something doesn’t matter. You know, but it is house, how strong and how soon, when you fall down, you’re able to get back out, get yourself up and say, Okay, today is another day. Yeah, look, sunny outside. We are breathing. We are alive with water. Yeah, we have computers, we have more, we have more that we can eat sometimes. Yeah, it’s just those little things which come together. Like I’m talking too much as questions please.
Simone Douglas 12:56
Languages and perspective are really powerful things. And understanding you know, the script that you’re loaded in with during childhood allows you to make different choices as an adult, you know, so I remember in my 20s doing I think it’s called transactional analysis with a therapist where they asked me 100 questions and I gave him all the answers and then fed back to me what those things meant Incoterms and it was really eye opening not because it made anyone wrong or bad or indifferent but because it gave me an opportunity to recognize Okay, well this is the programming so I can choose to unpack that now and rewrite something differently so Exactly.
And even in NLP neuro linguistic programming this programming is people say oh you will teach me how to do something and hypnosis. No, it is that you reprogram yourself. Because every coach will lead you where you want to go. They can’t take you where you don’t want to go. mentor is there to support you when when you are working. Yeah, it’s very interesting how much we developed now. Yeah, why it was 50 or 100 years?
Simone Douglas 14:06
Yeah. Do you think also one of the conversations I have with a lot of my friends when they’re looking at having finding someone to talk to whether it’s a therapist or a coach or you know somebody don’t give up if the first person you choose off course work
Great point because you know even you go sometimes to GP and if you go to big Medical Center, there are 10s of them necessary that you will click the first one. So it is like also with the friends people you have some friends in a certain ages and then they go out from your life and the new one comes. So it is same you with a psychotherapist with the coach with a mentor you can have two or three mentors or different fields, you know, Yeah, it is. It is human connection. And it is the way how we communicate together.
Simone Douglas 14:59
Yeah. Absolutely. What do you think it’s important for, particularly business owners, but generally for human beings to consider? As we’re, we’re kind of in the middle of that 12 month anniversary of the pandemic. So I had a conversation with a bunch of business owners the other day that where I said, don’t be surprised if in the last week you found yourselves quite irritable, quite tired, unusually sad or despondent. And you’re like, why am I Well, it’s the 12 months, it’s a year muscle memory.
Correct? What I think it is, as a business owner, you know, I did run business, like back home a long time ago, and basically, it is to assess the risks. Where are you now? And what are your plans for the future? Then also, to see what are the resources that you have? Can you do everything on your own? Or do you have resources or where you can find the resources, or maybe to join someone have some kind of partnership, and have some cooperation together, like many, many more people, especially when it comes to the artists, you know, they do different projects, and they can do a lot of things together. And it’s always that work and discipline, which is important. your self discipline, you know, to wake up in the morning to do the best what you can. And when you go in, they will say, Oh, well, that was a great day, because in every day, there is something great with all succeeded. And then next morning, when you wake up, said, Oh, it’s a new day. Let’s go. Let’s see what we will do today. It’s like a game. It is a game that we basically so journey. We don’t know where it will bring us
Simone Douglas 16:51
Yeah, I think that’s a really nice point to wrap up on. A very smart man. Good friend of mine, Dr. trail Tao, he taught me a long time ago that life is a game of your own choosing. Yes. And you’re the umpire, so you can change the rules whenever you like. And that was a very empowering, freeing thing, because every time I was like, and then I was like, Well, I don’t it doesn’t have to be that way I can do something else differently. So Tatjana, various Thanks very much for joining me today.
It’s been beautiful having me I really enjoyed talking with you. Every time when I see you, it’s something new.
Simone Douglas 17:29
So you’ll find Tatjana’s link to her LinkedIn profile in the sections where we share the podcast across the internet. And if you are interested in learning more about her coaching and Neuro Linguistic Programming, reach out to her on LinkedIn and have a chat. She’s very much like me, we like to meet new people. So yes,
and I always do as I said, a lot of pro bono coaching or I can speak on the events. So it is it’s a fun. Yeah, that’s
Simone Douglas 17:58
great. Thanks very
Chris Irving 18:01
much seriously, so check our website for the latest shownotes details about Simone’s latest book. You’ll find us at social media, higher k.com slash podcasts.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai