#SeriouslySocial The Podcast
with Simone Douglas and special guest Kara Lambert
Today’s guest is business coach Kara Lambert. She and Simone talk about imposter syndrome, “digital overwhelm”, and the value of collaboration in business.
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Hosted by Simone Douglas
Videography by Marie Carbone
Audio by Chris Irving
Music used in this episode is “Alte Herren” by KieLoKaz, used with permission under a Creative Commons Licence
This production is protected by a creative commons CC-BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence
Chris Irving 0:00
Welcome to the seriously social podcast with your host, Simone Douglas. Today’s guest is business coach Kara Lambert. She and Simone talk about imposter syndrome, digital overwhelm, and the value of collaboration in business.
Simone Douglas 0:18
So joining me today for seriously social podcast is Kara Lambert of Kara Lambert. Welcome.
Simone Douglas 0:26
so maybe we can start off if you can just give us the cliff note version as to you know, what you’re all about and and how you find yourself here today.
So what I’m all about is teaching business owners the psychology behind business, whether it’s their own personal psychology and how to motivate themselves, how to motivate their staff, and also how to connect and use psychology with their customers as well, especially with social media. So that’s the cliffnotes.
Simone Douglas 0:55
Yeah, cool. I think the psychology of themselves must be fascinating, because, yes, business owners? Well, and I know for myself, you know, resilience is such a big part of being successful in business. And a lot of people don’t take the time to interrogate their own psychology.
No, they don’t. And what I found was that I was training business owners on social media and how to promote their business on online. And I give them all the skills, and then they wouldn’t do it. Okay, I can lead a horse to water guys, what’s going on? And I actually have a psychology degree that sits behind all of this. So I was talking to them are, look, I’m actually really afraid of putting myself out there. Yeah. And so it was then delving into why and what was behind that. So sometimes it is that resilience and being able to go, hey, look, here I am. This is me, and this is my business. Yeah. And doing that.
Simone Douglas 1:56
Do you find that? In the face of that, that it’s almost like building up that critical mass of empirical evidence that the sky is not going to fall in?
For some of them? Yes. For some, some of them it is some of them, it’s that little story that they’ve always told themselves of, you know what, my voice really doesn’t matter? And then it is that empirical evidence that sits behind them, people are actually listening they are, they do want to know what I have to say. And they do actually resonate with it and respond to it as well.
Simone Douglas 2:28
What do you think the biggest challenge is for a business that is trying to establish and voice in the digital realm like in social media?
Unknown Speaker 2:39
Wow, small question. Because biggest problem. At the start, it’s actually putting themselves out there, taking that very first step. And knowing that they don’t have to be all things to all people and have this massive following. I was once told, you know, 30% of your audience will love you that, or a third of your audience will love you, a third of your audience could care less than a third of your audience will hate you. And you just played it. That’s first third. Yeah, that love you. And that’s all you need to worry about.
Simone Douglas 3:16
Yeah. And I think that’s also ties in really nicely, I often talk to my clients about, you know, get to know what your needs are. So really understand who you bread and butter clients. So the ones that you, you know, pay the bills on time, we like working with them, they help you to pay your bills on time, you know, they’re not the most profitable, but they you know, we like them. And then who are those crane clients that you know, you absolutely love. So you’re onboard one of them. They’re very sticky. They’re turning into brand advocates. And then the dream clients that you know, your competitors wish they, but they’re your clients. But yeah, understanding how we service those people, and more importantly, where we talk to them and how we talk to them and not trying to be all things to all people all the time because he can’t
Yeah, and I think for me, it’s that, how we talk to them and talking to them the way that they want to be spoken to not necessarily the way that we want to talk to them, or we think they want to be spoken to. Yeah, but the difference.
Simone Douglas 4:16
I think that’s really difficult for business owners don’t have a background in psychology or counseling or people management. It’s often the biggest challenges there like but this is what I want to say.
Exactly. And it’s funny because one of the first things people say to me when I say I’ve got a psych degree, it’s like, you’re reading my mind, you’re inside my head. And it’s actually that skills like yeah, I am inside client’s head or I’m inside staff members head guess what I am actually inside your head. Yeah, to make into XYZ. And so yeah, it is getting in their head and finding out what they want to say. Yeah.
Simone Douglas 4:57
Do you find that puts you at a really good advantage? Though when you’re working with clients to help them to tell their stories effectively on social media,
I think it makes it easier for them. Yeah. Because I’m also that one step removed. That, you know, it doesn’t matter so much to me, there is no right or wrong for me, it’s this is it, whereas a lot of business owners are a little bit afraid of, well, what if I get it wrong? Yeah, well, guess what? You’re not gonna get it wrong to you to your brand. You say it? Yeah. Do it that way. So I think I have that advantage with, with being inside their head,
Simone Douglas 5:34
you can just coach them a little bit along the way and keep them. I think there definitely is, you know, working in that field. What’s the word? It’s not a burdens around word, but a responsibility to support your clients through that process of being seen? Because I think even in business Ed, particularly I find often women in business, but um, you know, the more men I talked to, the more I discovered this the same either way. Yeah. Is that it’s that whole imposter syndrome of like, well, what if somebody says, actually, I don’t know what I’m talking about? Yeah. So how do you? You know what, more importantly, what do you think other business owners can do that help to help them get themselves past? That little voice on the back of their shoulder? That goes you can’t do that.
Yeah, so the biggest thing that I have for imposter syndrome is actually not making it about you. So to make it about the audience that you’re serving, it’s like, what am I doing? What am I giving to them? How am I helping them because they’re the most important thing. So when you turn it and make it about yourself, then of course, you’re going to get well, they’re going to tap me on the shoulder and call me out for fighting or fighting or fraud. And you really need to turn it around and put it on to the other person make the best service. And so
Simone Douglas 6:57
I think there’s also that story of when you focused on the relationship and focused on providing value, I don’t think you can get it wrong. And so it’s, that’s very empowering. Like every now and again, I’ll end up having a conversation with somebody not very often anymore, but you know, where someone will go, you know, you just always so out there, like, Oh, well, I’m just being me. And they’re like, really, but you know, you just you say exactly what you mean, when you say exactly what you think. And you just you seem to be doing all of these things. And I was saying to someone the other day, I don’t I can’t do it any other way, I can only do me and only do it the way that I know how to do it.
I think when I first got into this industry, the hardest thing for me was comparison. And I had to realize that I was so different to everybody else. actually be okay with that. Yeah, be okay with that difference, like I said earlier that 1/3 of the community that you’re talking to, exactly. So why would you try to be anything different? Because if you focus on that 1/3 and serving that 1/3 that connect with you, if you are anything else, other than yourself, you can’t connect to them, and they’re not going to follow you. They’re not going to like you, they’re not going to come on board with you, especially in this kind of competitive environment.
Simone Douglas 8:16
Yeah, I think do you think that comes down to trusting your own value or valuing what it is that you bring to the table?
Simone Douglas 8:25
yeah. Because it’s I know, for myself, you know, often people will say, oh, who are your competitors? So, you know, I did a website redesign the other day, you know, my web developer who’s amazing, I work with Him forever. Thank you. So this is like the sixth website he’s built for me. And he’s like, So who are you competitors? Because I want to go look at this speed of their sites and stuff. And I’m like, I don’t have any. And he’s like, What do you mean? I’m like, Well, I’m not competing with anybody. Yeah, I’m like, there are other people in the market that provide similar services, but they provide them in different ways. Yeah. Or they specialize in different nations, or they’re more warm and fuzzy than me or less warm and fuzzy. Yeah.
I have a different neich. It’s all of those different kinds of things. Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, in a lot of the groups that I’m in with other business owners, they say, Oh, well, you know, you’ve got to keep an eye on the competitors do a competitor analysis to see where you are in the marketplace, I might, actually wouldn’t even know. Yeah. Because I’m too focused on my audience, my clients and me and what I’m doing and making sure I’m delivering the right stuff for them. Why would I be looking?
Simone Douglas 9:38
Yeah. I often wonder if that whole competitive mindset thing is a 1980s way of doing business. So if you look at an I, you know, I do particularly think women are doing this very well in business at the moment is that idea of CO petition and cross collaboration and you know, having conversations about things just because he can. And getting to know people just because he can, is a new way of doing business. And what I find happens is like, I end up being getting referrals from my competitors, and vice versa. Because, you know, like we have, you know, some specialists neichs like one of the few people that just specializes in disaster recovery. So if there’s a massive social media blow up, and there’s a PR Firestorm, you know, we’ll take on that client for a very short term period to put the fire out, and then, like, go back to doing what they were doing, because we know new cycles and social anyway. But also, we tend not to take on duplicate clients that are in close geographical proximity. So, you know, if I have a dentist that’s down the road from another dentist, and they want someone to do what they need to do, then, you know, I need to be able to refer them to someone that can do it for them. Yeah. So how have you found like, on your journey in business, those kinds of collaboration opportunities,
purely through networking, is the best way. And it’s funny, I’ve, I’ve come back around to it and seeing the value, especially here in Adelaide, the value of networking, having a good group of people around you, even the ones that are in the same marketplaces. Yeah. So that you can work off of each other work with each other to do it. Yeah. And I’ve got to admit, I think the women’s we are tending to do that a lot more and a lot better. Maybe that’s just the network that I’m in. Yeah.
Simone Douglas 11:43
I think it’s also the Yeah, it could just be that whole process of, you know, finding different ways to be successful, too. So you know, like, Carly Thompson Berry, who’s si woman who’s just, she’s just an amazing human being. But you know, like, often people go hard. But you know, aren’t you in competition with sa woman with the BNI stuff? And I might know, I might, because it’s completely different. Yeah. And you can be in more than one network. I’m pretty sure there’s nothing in my contracts as a can’t be friends with anybody else. But yeah, there’s this there’s still this kind of old perception that you have to live in a silo. But I think that what we’re breaking down now is that actually, the more people that you know, and the more you know about them, the more fun that everyone gets to have. Yeah, yeah. So how long have you had your business? One?
I was thinking about earlier, eight years.
Simone Douglas 12:41
Yeah. Wow. So we started at the same time. That’s really cool. And what was it that like, made you give right, this is what I’m doing now.
Um, I come out of a corporate career in federal government. Yeah. And my youngest was about to start school. So unlike most people that start a business, most women will take a break, when the kids are born and start a small business, I was the opposite. My two were off at school. And I was starting a small business. So it was quite literally the flexibility that I couldn’t get in my career in the federal government. It gave me and I just took the skills that I had. So I was a technical proofreader and copy editor. And I transfer that into a business. And because I had a business online, on Facebook 8 years ago, yeah,
Simone Douglas 13:29
Yeah, you learn the nuts and bolts and friends and business were coming to me and saying, our car, what about this? You know, how do I do this off with Facebook or that and I ended up helping them more and more. And then it was seeing how they, I could teach them the technical skills about being online and being on social media, which I’d actually learned a lot of that stuff in government. Yeah. Cuz I started in 2000, and started in the E business team. So I’ve actually been in e-business now for 20 years. Yeah, um, but yeah, it was teaching them the technical skills. And then I could say that a lot of it was their own psychology and their own behavior or things that were in the way so I could then branch out, but it’s really just people. Yeah, and how people behave and what holds them back and what motivates them.
Simone Douglas 14:25
I think that raises a really good point, though, in that I often have the conversation with clients, and people when they’re in my training courses, and it’s, please remember, and start trading your social media channels like a digital shopfront. Like there is a customer that has walked into your door and you’re having a conversation with them. Yeah, so if someone walked into your front door and you went buy my stuff, have you bought my stuff? My stuffs $50 if you could please buy my stuff. That would be great. Can I have your money?
Yeah, and it’s going to go very well.
24 seven. Yeah, that’s the other thing that we tend to forget that it’s not the nine to five thing. It’s the two am and when you know, we can’t sleep thing over the other side of the world wanting to buy something for a friend here locally, or it’s all of those kinds of things, and I’m, I’m the same with my clients. It’s your digital shopfront, and you can’t be the hey, yeah, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.
Simone Douglas 15:29
It does pose another challenge, I suppose to there, which is that blurred boundaries of there’s no shutting off. Yep. So you know that digital exhaustion is very real, particularly right now when we’re in the middle of the evolution of society. 5.0 where you’ve got, you know, people who avoided adopting technology to a point have been forced to thanks to COVID. So they’re on the platforms. They’re engaging with the things so out of curiosity, what is the one piece of advice that you would give to someone right now that is in digital overwhelm?
Wow, um my favorite thing to do is unfollow. Yeah, I actually learnt that LinkedIn had an unfollow function. He could still remain connected with staff. Yeah. And so if you’re in digital overwhelm, it is quite literally unfollow people. I know it’s hard, especially if it’s friends and family that are really getting on you go.
Simone Douglas 16:34
Yeah, now they’re the first people I unfollow
Just give yourself that space. Yeah, that virtual space, but it actually is real space. Yeah. between you and them.
Simone Douglas 16:48
Yeah. I was having a conversation with Dan who was Dan levy for more space for life. And, and I was talking about the fact that as a parent, you know, one of the most valuable things I do with my kids is Saturday morning is like breakfast at a cafe and is no phone time. So when Saxon was six, and he’s now 10, but the first time I did it, I put the phone in the alcove by the front door. They took it out of my pocket. Put it on alcocer calm boys were going in the cafe and sacks and nearly had a panic attack. He’s like, Mommy, fine. You need to find you can’t leave the house with you without your phone. So I’m like, No, this is fine. freezone It’s Saturday breakfast, we’re going for breakfast. And everything we were on was hard. Like I’ve ever been that unplugged like and it was even back then. But it’s I think you also have to give yourself permission to just like, two hours nothing’s gonna happen. So bad. Like Yeah, particularly on the weekends just like take some time away from the notifications.
Unknown Speaker 17:44
Absolutely. It was one of the things that I did was get a smartwatch. Yeah, because the constant ping and ding and buzz of notifications. I actually had to even putting my phone on silent. Yeah, it just didn’t help. So I got a smartwatch and that way I can control a lot more which things I respond to which ones I don’t. In our house. I’ve got two teenagers 15 year old and one 13 year old. Okay. And there are no phones at the table. Yeah, now that’s a good rule. Yeah, no phones at the dinner table. And we all eat together every night. It’s keeping those little sanctuaries. Yeah, where you know, it’s it’s a no tech zone or the drive to and from school. I have great conversations with my kids during drop off and pickup. So it’s night, like, seriously, we’re in the car you can put it down for a while
Simone Douglas 18:37
- I shall confiscate it. Yeah, no, that makes sense. So if someone Yeah, let me get this right. If someone had given you like a piece of advice in your first year of business, that would have really saved you a lot of anxed. What would that piece of advice be?
I wish I had a group of people around me who got it. Yeah. I use the the man in theory, famous speech by Theodore Roosevelt. Yeah. And I now have a group of people around me who are in their the arena. They may be colleagues. Yeah. My son actually. One of my friends is a professor at University. And I see she’s in the arena. She is in there getting your butt kicked, you know, fire Yes. And really dumb. And I really admire her for because she’s, she’s in there fighting for what she believes in and why she’s passionate. And I wished I had that group of people around me sooner, because I wouldn’t have been so distracted by who I thought it was going to be the right person to give me the advice.
Simone Douglas 19:50
Yeah, I am. Yeah, I think often. That is one of the biggest challenges and I think it’s probably a good spot to end is that pay People come and go, when you’re starting a business. Everyone will have an opinion. Yeah, the people that have never been in the arena will have opinion opinions, the people that are always going to work for someone else to get a paycheck every week, you know, have an opinion, they’re gonna have an opinion on the type of parent you should be while you’re running that business, what you should be doing, and I think there’s a limit as to who you should take advice from. And the conversation I have with the business owner yesterday was be very aware of the first statement or question someone makes to you when you share your dream with them. So if their very next question is, so what’s your first step to move towards whatever it is that you’re talking to or something like that, then they’re probably the kind of person that you want in that field, because they’re not going off? That’s ridiculous. You’ll never get your what would your your? Yeah, oh, yeah. What do you want to do that for? Those are the people who tend to need you to be much smaller than you can be in order to be okay. So, yeah, I think we’re really lucky in Adelaide because we do have this culture of competition. And you know, like, everyone has their own neich, everyone like shares things. Which means it’s been really great to have you on the podcast and thank you
Simone Douglas 21:18
for my pleasure. Thanks very much for joining me.
Chris Irving 21:21
We hope you enjoyed this episode of seriously social. Check our website for the latest news show notes and for details about Simone’s latest book, confident networker.