Episode 23 – Vanessa Bamford

Our guest this episode is Vanessa Bamford, from Vision Beyond Business. She chats with Simone about purpose-driven business and how to avoid burnout.

Special guest: Vanessa Bamford

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/VBBusiness

Facebook @vanessabamford

LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/company/vision-beyond-business

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https://digitalmarketingaok.com.au/podcast 

Hosted by Simone Douglas
Videography by Marie Carbone
Audio by Chris Irving

Music used in this episode is “Alte Herren” by KieLoKaz, used with permission under a Creative Commons Licence

This production is protected by a creative commons CC-BY-NC-ND 4.0 licence

Chris Irving 0:00
Welcome to the seriously social podcast with your host Simone Douglas.

Our guest this episode is Vanessa Bamford from vision beyond business. She chats with Simone about purpose driven business and how to avoid burnout

Simone Douglas 0:17
Welcome to this week’s episode of seriously special podcast and today I am joined by the lovely Vanessa barrowford from vision beyond business Vanessa thanks for coming along

Vanessa 0:26
Thanks for having me

Simone Douglas 0:28
My pleasure. Perhaps to start off with Can you just give us the cliff notes version of how you find yourself sitting here today

Vanessa 0:35
the cliff notes version um

i ….i guess a bit about me..I started my journey with vision beyond business about 11 years ago obviously growing my business and wanting to network and everything met you and along the way following you online obviously found you’re doing a podcast and interested in talking to people and put my hand up yeah and what’s what’s your because you do so many things Yeah, what is the thing that is your hearts that started these days? What do you yeah joy? So I restructured the business at the end of 19 yeah because I was really following purpose and didn’t feel like I was following it the way I wanted to yeah wanting to make more of a positive impact for small businesses and generations to come basically so I was doing tax returns and financial statements and you know Business Advisory but I didn’t really feel the pull to it there’s just no passion over that so now really focused on working with purpose driven organizations and businesses and providing the end to end service so giving them the full I guess the confidence to know that the the back end finances are sorted. That they’ve got me by the side working as I guess their CFO with their with them whose business owner a CEO and really driving strategy to make a difference in what they’re doing. So I’m loving it now like I yeah, it took me a while to kind of navigate through everything yeah. Yeah, really loving, loving life and loving what I do now.

Simone Douglas 2:30
So give us a bit more of an understanding what is the purpose driven business so it’s it’s a great catchphrase. Yeah. What is what does it mean?

Vanessa 2:39
Yeah, to me it’s somebody that’s doing what they do for a real definite reason that’s not money. Yeah. I’ve what I found over time so I’ve got I guess I still want to help all small businesses, but I predominately work with sort of small medium businesses that are growing but through their small business space I find there’s a lot of people that go out and do what they want to do because they’re passionate and they love what they’re doing. They love helping people and they’re good at it but they burn out really quickly or they’re not making enough money and so that that to me that’s purpose knowing what you do because you love it or you’re doing what you do because you want to be that provider for your family and you want to you want a lasting legacy well yeah it might be or you’ve got to for example the not for profit organizations they’re doing it for a better reason Yeah, and that’s what I want to do on the ripple effect I suppose.

Simone Douglas 3:37
Yeah, that makes sense to me because I worked out ages ago I don’t remember which book it was but they basically said you need to come up with what is your core purpose for being like yes as a human being what what what is it that floats your boat? And mine was just connecting people to people for mutual benefit so if I can do that every day, my life’s complete Yeah, I might have good days or bad days but suddenly I get to play that game that’s fine. Yeah. And then once I knew what that was, then I could go well my business is either fit that or they don’t and I have to feel it. There’s it’s not negotiable. So if if I looked at a business requiring another business Yeah, that didn’t fit that somehow. Yeah. Then it was a no

Vanessa 4:20
Yeah, yep.

Simone Douglas 4:21
So it makes decision making much much easier, I think

Vanessa 4:24
heaps easier and even though I think the the beginning journey of looking for purpose, like that. That’s quite it’s quite a journey in itself. Yeah, because this is what I want to do. And this is what I believe Yeah. But until I’ve had to make some really hard decisions, yeah. And some you know, some some decisions that you know, wrecked me. I had to go through some really horrible things. um. But just trusting that this is what I this is why I’m doing it. You know, I’m doing it for my family. I’m doing it to be there for my kids and I’m doing it to make a difference not just for the people I work with, but for them as well. Yeah, like when I looked at my purpose being that’s what it is in business, but in life, I want to be the best mom I can be. So I’m making a positive difference for my kids. And I was like, Well, I’m not, you know, I’m not making a positive difference for my kids. I’m not present. You know, I’m rushing around, I’m trying to do a million things. I’m burning out. I wasn’t putting, you know, my health first. What kind of role model Am I being to them? And and I think until I made this really heavy decision to restructure my business on what I thought it should look like, as much as it was kind of a really big decision and a really hard journey to go through after that as well, to kind of get back to better Hill, I can sit back and say I’m genuinely You know, I’m really happy with the mom that I am and the business owner I am. And

Simone Douglas 5:59
when I think that’s a challenge really is because you’ve got and I don’t know, at what point but then where the men also go through this. I know women as moms, in business, definitely, you’ve got the competing demands. So I’ve seen that dads go through exactly the same thing. But it’s, you know, my kids will say stuff to me, like, you know, why aren’t you coming to this? And like, will you teach her only, like, emailed about it? Yesterday, my diary is booked up six weeks in a month. So yeah, same thing, I kind of had a conscious decision this year, and I hired an executive assistant, because I was like, you know, I would rather pay somebody, and I have less money but more time. And it’s great now because she schedules-in, like, she’ll get the school newsletter, every single event goes into my diary so that I don’t have to think about it, it’s all done. There’s no danger of me missing that school play, or that sports day or whatever else. And she just does all of the tasks that I don’t need to do, which then allows me to prioritize things like health. So suddenly, I’m back in the gym, and I’m lifting and I’m eating properly and doing what I need to do. And then all of a sudden, business gets easier because I’m healthy, and I’m happy and so I can do all the things. What advice would you give to someone who’s in the burnout stage? Because I find normally at about the three year mark and the five year mark, or for me anyway, they were? I was they were what am I doing? Yeah, yes. Yeah. I was like, why am I yeah,

Vanessa 7:31
yeah.

I definitely hit the Why am I here Mark? At about the about the fourth year. But I pretty much reckon I was burning out constantly. I just kept hitting a wall and hitting a wall and hitting a wall until I just hit that brick wall so hard that I couldn’t get back up again.

Simone Douglas 7:53
Yeah.

Vanessa 7:55
What would I say to somebody who’s in the burnout? Stop, just stop for a minute. Like, just stop, you’ve got to stop like, you know, you. You’re in that constant thing of being busy. But if I don’t get this done, if you don’t get it done, the world’s not gonna end? No, you know, but you could

Simone Douglas 8:19
Yeah.

Vanessa 8:22
Yeah, I don’t know, I still see it. And I think it’s, it’s, everyone’s on their own journey. And I do find it really hard when I can see it in someone and I just want to, you know, I’m saying, you know, like, I can see this in you. And if you could just stop and just slow down. But people have to find it in the right way.

Simone Douglas 8:39
And they do well, and I think it’s a challenge that my hope is that glorification of busy is such a thing. And in the startup communities and online, you’ve got a grind and, you know, as much as people like Gary Manitoc, and Kevin Right, great in some respects, but they have entire teams sitting behind them, filming them creating all their content. And I often say people will have gone off to an event like that and come back and think that they have to do all of these. And yeah, if he can just bring it back. Yeah. You don’t have to grow that fast. You don’t have to absolutely it’s got to be sustainable. Whatever I do,

Vanessa 9:17
I think I learned after the big burnout, that my motto became slow is fast. So every time I wanted to go fast and even now, I guess having built so much more self awareness as well. Every time I get that, I get anxious feeling of I’ve got to do this. I go hang on. That’s my that’s my sign. I need to slow down. Because slow is fast for me. If I just do it slowly, I’ll get there quicker. And I’ll get there at a reasonable pace, and I’m not sacrificing anything.

Simone Douglas 9:48
Yeah, yeah, that makes sense to me, I think to one of the other challenges and I know for myself, I’m really aware that I’ve got so many connections on Facebook and everywhere else that, I have a responsibility to post when I have crap days.

Vanessa 10:06
Yes, like, I really do.

Simone Douglas 10:10
Because otherwise everyone’s like, Oh, she’s so successful. She does this. She does that. And I’m like, Yeah, do all of that. And then I’ve got a blanket for it. And I don’t want to get out for a day. Because I did all of that. Yeah, there’s a cost that comes for the things.

Vanessa 10:22
Yeah.

Simone Douglas 10:24
So I think, you know, one of the things that would be more beneficial is if more business owners told the truth about what it was to own a business, instead of glorifying,

Vanessa 10:38
I think it’s it’s its vulnerability, though. Yeah, that’s really scary. Yeah, I’m, you know, trying to Yeah, but you’ve got to fight your own demons here in here as well. Sure things, you know, I try to put things out there. And then, it’s good now because I guess I’ve got a marketing person helping me. So I’ll say yeah, Hey, can you write this out? And then you just kind of you glaze over the bits that just kind of need tweaking a little bit, but still leave it in my language? And I feel like by having a filter, I can put more things out there.

Simone Douglas 11:14
That’s cool. Yeah, I wouldn’t have thought about it that way. But you’re right, because it’s um, yeah, it’s it’s the confidence in knowing that someone else has checked it over. Yeah. And for me. Definitely, when it comes to like articles that are right, and things like that, I have to have someone check it out. Because I literally don’t want brain. And it’s usually a million spelling mistakes and glaring, like grammatical errors that someone’s going to pick me up on at some point. Yeah. But yeah, it means that I don’t worry about it too much. But what’s interesting, I suppose is I spent, maybe like 30 days, a year ago, I went, I’m going to 30 days, I’m going to be unapologetically me, I’m going to do what’s right for me, I’m going to do what I need. I’m going to do it politely and kindly, but I’m just going to be unapologetically myself and for the first probably 12 days, and really painful and scary. And I’m like, I can’t, I just said no to going to this event. I just said no to this and that. But it really cured me of caring. But caring about being judged. Yep. So and I think that that was massively liberating when I stopped caring about my company. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. If you disagree with me, you’re allowed to have an opinion. And I don’t have to personalize the fact that you have a different opinion. But I wonder too, whether that’s like a 40 year old plus thing, because I do you think

Vanessa 12:42
Yeah, I absolutely thought yeah, hit the 30’s, and then he just start kind of having that whole attitude that, I really do give ####.

Yeah. You know, I look at my daughter. And I think, Oh, if only I could give you the things that I’ve, you know, and I know you’ve got to go through those things. But yeah, to not worry what other people think. Yeah, definitely a very liberating thing, but it is. I think it is a it’s a 40’s thing.

Simone Douglas 13:11
Yeah, yes, everyone has seemed to speak to that in that place is over the age of 40. So yeah, maybe that’s just, uh, we know that we’ve got you do not as much life ahead of this as we used to do.

Vanessa 13:24
And I did read an article recently that said that, yeah, that well, people over 40 tend to be more purpose driven. Yeah. Because they’ve had, I guess, so many experiences in life to get them there. They have better mental health. And they generally don’t care so much what people think.

Simone Douglas 13:44
Yeah, that makes sense. I was having a conversation with one of my kids the other day, because I’m really concerned about labels. So labels is the thing that and we give kids because I live in this digital world now as well. Start labeling themselves with stuff yet you just go. Did I take you to see a mental health practice? You know, so like, you know, one of my kids is like, Hi, you know, Mom, I have really poor social skills and you know, social anxiety. And I was like, No, you don’t, I’m like he egoic Lee sound, and you have an internalized locus of control, which means you don’t care that much what other people think of you, which can be construed as poor social skills, if you fail to take the time to package your delivery. That’s right. You’re perfectly capable of packaging your delivery, which means that’s a choice that’s not poor social skills, and he was like…

Yeah, but it’s just you know, I find it fascinating because there is this whole you know, and not taking away from people that suffer from anxiety or mental illness because that’s a whole nother ballgame. But there is another whole area of people who are really just worried Well, there are distress, and they’re not necessarily doing things about it to address the stresses they’re under.

Vanessa 15:05
Absolutely.

Simone Douglas 15:06
So yeah, I would like to see people just stop. Yes, slow down. Yes.

Vanessa 15:12
So So would I yeah, I think in general, if we all could stop and slow down, life would be better for everybody. Because when you’re overwhelmed and you’re worked up, you’re also like you you’re not as kind. Because you don’t have the you don’t have your your, you know, your window of tolerance is pretty low. And yeah, things kind of, you know, I see it, I’ve seen people now, I guess, because I have slowed down and I go, Oh, they need to slow down. Yeah, they just need to take a breath, you know, but that, you know, in talking to kids, my kids and stuff as well saying, you know, you don’t know what’s going on other people’s lives. You know, so if you don’t want to feel that feeling of, I’m worried about what other people think of me and stop thinking things about people stop judging. So if we stop judging, then we’re not going to worry that we’re being judged. Yeah.

Simone Douglas 16:01
I had someone asked me the other day. Who do I compare myself to? And I looked at them I’m like,

Vanessa 16:10
I don’t. .

Simone Douglas 16:13
What??

Surely, like when you see people, when you meet people, you compare yourself to them and I’m like.. No.

And it was really like, it was weird, because like, I probably like when I was a teenager. Sure. She’s really pretty Oh, he’s really athletic. You know, they’ve got a really dark outfield. But somewhere along the lines I cured myself of not by it was a was another one of those, like, 30 day things, and it’s probably comes from having a mother, that’s a therapist. Yeah. She goes, you know, everyone judges everything. And it’s really unhealthy. And so I want you to practice non judgement. So every time you go to have an opinion about someone, you have to stop it. Yeah. And so yeah, I really don’t see, like, I see the person in front of me. I don’t see how their hair is what they’re wearing all of those kinds of things. Yes, I actively cultivate it, because I want to say something nice to them. Yeah. But yeah, it was, I was struck by Well, how many people living their lives using up all of this energy? Yeah. comparing themselves Yeah. And if I let all of that going, and then have all this energy to feel that they want you to compare them so

Vanessa 17:29
I think it’s being lost as well. You know, not knowing who you truly are and not not allowing yourself to find that and be okay with that. whatever that might be. You know, I’ve definitely got it in a fire. Yeah, that I’d never really liked because it was, you know, for me, it was I’ve got to be kind and I can’t you know, I can’t let that kind of eyesore. It is really negative, but I like my father now. Come, you know, I’m at peace with the fact that you know, I’ve you know, I’ve I’m pretty firey.

Simone Douglas 18:02
It’s not a bad thing.

Vanessa 18:03
No, no, no, I think it’s a strong thing. And I really like it now. And I’ve channeled that in a positive way.

Simone Douglas 18:09
Yeah. Well, and I think if you embrace those aspects of yourself, then you can Yep, I think, yeah, it’s funny. I have a conversation with Alex every now and again regularly. You don’t want that part of me off the leash. It’s like what do you mean? I’m like, No, there there is a part of me that will maim and kill someone with my vocabulary. We don’t want that off the leash. I don’t let it off the leash. But I give her a little bit of you know, it’s there. Yeah, if yes, I really need to Yeah, it’s fine but yet not necessary. Most of the time.

Vanessa 18:43
I say it with my son he’s only seven but he has this and it is a fire it’s an inner fire. It’s It’s very, you know, what I say is a really strong energy it is and I’ve said to him you have you’ve got some superpower, like you know yet. But you don’t want to use it for bad you gotta use it for good. You got to take control of it. So he’s 7, You know,

he’s still learning but you know, you know, you can you know, you can get so fired up. Yeah. And that you you know, words were never my thing. And so I was always I guess suppressed until I exploded? Whereas now, you know, started. Muy Thai about

Simone Douglas 19:24
kickboxing is great. I love it.

Vanessa 19:26
Yeah. Did martial arts. Fantastic. Yeah. And I spoke to someone recently who said that, yeah. Being able to fu power in martial arts is super empowering. And I do I love I love kicking a bag. I love sparring. And

Simone Douglas 19:44
yeah, it’s good. You see making me miss it.

Vanessa 19:47
Aw you do. It’s fantastic. Yeah, fantastic.

Simone Douglas 19:50
Oh, I think that’s a really nice way to end. Yeah, embracing your superpower. And moving on to create the world that you want. Vanessa thanks very much for joining me today

Vanessa 20:01
I enjoyed it.

Chris Irving 20:04
Hope you enjoyed this episode of seriously social. Check our website for the latest news show notes and for details about Simone’s latest book, confident networker.